Dear Diary
by Mortheza
Summary: To put it simply Tatsuha's diary. Let's see what our little pervert thinks inside his head... Rating may go up later! R&R! DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gravitation, I'm just borrowing the characters! CHAPTER 3 UP!
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary...  
by Mortheza

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**Chapter One:** Life is a bitch.

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Ever since I was a little kid, I have worshipped Nittle Grasper and Sakuma Ryuichi all night and day. When I saw their first music video on television, I was hooked. The way Sakuma-sama moved, the way he sang, kami-sama... I was so hooked. 

And I'm still, and I'm sure I'll be in the future, for the rest of my life.

Now here's the fun part of my little story. My "lovely" sister, Mika, is married to one of his band mates. It's really cool to know you have a star in your family. But Mika... She's so fucking unfair! No matter how hard or how many times I beg her to let me meet my god, always, and I mean always, the answer is no.

Her reasons are always something like, "you're a minor", "he's busy now" or "Tohma told me to say no". Tell me just how unfair that is!

I've been to their every single concert, I haven't missed any of them. I have every single one of their CD's and singles. Every. Single. One.

Heh, and how about my room then? No matter how many times the old man tells me to take all the posters down, I'm not going to do that. That'd be a sin! And you know, I've been told that committing a sin is a bad thing. So I'm not going to commit one. Take that.

I feel like killing my sister now. For Buddha's sake, we're family, can't she be nice to, even for once? Nooooo, she can't. She always has to act like someone shoved a cactus up her ass. She's got everything she wants, so does my brother. And what am I left with?

Nothing. Well, except the monk training, but like I care about it. There are far more important things in like, such as... Sakuma-sama. Yeah. Oh yeah, I've got a motorcycle, but that isn't same thing as Sakuma-sama.

I know, I know, now you think that I'm just another whiny teenager with too much hormones and all, and you're right. I am, and I have a right to be one!

I'm still wondering why the hell am I writing this? Why the hell do I have a frikkin' diary? I guess it's supposed to be something that makes me a little less... aggressive. It's a girl thing, too! So why on earth am I doing this? Oh well, it's pretty fun.

And oh yeah, my "lovely" brother is dating a guy, who got to sing a duet with Sakuma-sama. Too bad I don't get to talk to Shuichi so often, he seems like a fun guy, but since the little "incident" that happened in my brother's apartment during the Nittle Grasper video, Eiri decided that I'm not allowed to go near him. Oh how I love you too aniki!

I'm starting to sound bitter. Great. I'm a sixteen-year-old whiny teenager who's at the moment feeling so bitter and pissed I could almost explode! It's just so unfair! Okay, now I'm sounding like a little kid who doesn't get a pocky. Great. Just... great.

It's so annoying that all my relatives get to be in touch with Sakuma-sama and I'm left outside (though Eiri thinks that Sakuma-sama is rather irritating, so he doesn't actually wanna have anything to do with him).

Mika could get me a backstage pass, but is she going to do that? Nooo! Bitch.

Eiri could do the same, and I know he would do it, but then he'd have to be in touch with Tohma and he doesn't want that, so... Nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.

And even this day has been hell. The old man just walked into my room at 6:00 am and decided that it was time for me to get up so I could go to the temple and pray for next two hours, repeating the same sentence over and over and over and over again. I almost fell asleep and I had lost the count after 20.

I swear to Buddha that when I turn into 18, I'm gonna buy myself an apartment in Tokyo and never gonna come back to Kyoto. Never ever, and that's a promise. Whoa, my other hand was on Nittle Grasper's first CD when I promised, so now I'll have to keep it. Let's call that an accident, shall we? Besides, then I can decide about my own things.

Ouch, my walkman is clearly calling my name out, gotta go and listen to Nittle Grasper. Maybe I'll bitch more about my life tomorrow. Ja ne!

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Okay, I'm not sure are you guys going to like this, and I'm not sure did I make Tatsuha OOC... Anyways, let me know if I should continue this! 

Mortheza


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary...  
by Mortheza

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**Chapter Two:** A day in my life

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I can't believe I'm writing here again... Maybe this is just a phase that'll go away when time passes or something..? I really hope so, because if someone finds this, I'm gonna be screwed. 

Anyways, I talked with my sister today on the phone... and she promised that she would talk with Tohma about me meeting Sakuma-sama, privately! Finally my whining paid off! I had to beg, whine and everything for almost two hours, and it frikkin' paid off! Now I'm just hoping that Tohma won't say no.

Sometimes I'm wondering what does he have against me... I'm not that bad, am I? It's not like I'm going to rape Sakuma-sama or anything, no, I'm gonna seduce him first and then... Oh well, I'll let ya know if it ever happens.

Shit, I gotta do something, I'll be back soon!

Back. Don't ask, just... don't ask, okay? Good. I've really been thinking about the fact of me becoming a monk. I know for sure it's clearly what I don't want. I really have no clue what I wanna do for living when I finally move out.

Modeling sounds good, lots of people have told me that I've got the looks and everything it takes to become a model, but then again I'm not so sure...

Anything else, but not a monk.

Well, singer sounds nice, but with my voice, no. I sound like an old crow with a sore throat, so definitely no.

Few years ago, (I can't believe I still remember something like this) I was just sitting on my bed, listening to the second album of Nittle Grasper and I was singing along. Then, just then my sister decided to walk into my room.

"With that voice you're going to shatter eardrums instead of hearts."

I was completely embarrassed when Mika said that. Since then I haven't sung one word (well, except during the times I'm drunk...).

She probably told Eiri about it, because when I saw him, he gave me this weird look I can't describe.

A singer? Never. Thanks, but no thanks.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I fell asleep during my English lesson and I got detention. Not fair. C'mon, you guys would be tired too if you had to wake up at five in the morning like I had today. The old man decided I could use some more time to praying.

Oh fuck, it's already 10:00 pm! I should be sleeping by now, too bad I don't feel tired at all. If I write a bit more, then go to bed... That sounds good. I hope I see those sweet dreams of me and Sakuma-sama again...

Maybe I should write small parts of them down, just in case I forget any of them (though I seriously doubt it).

Well, I saw one back at school (when I fell asleep during the English lesson)... That was truly a hot one! Imagine this:

We met at this small bar-like place, we were both a bit tipsy, but like that matters... Anyways, one thing lead to another and somehow we ended up at his apartment about half an hour later.

Kami-sama it was soooo perfect! His body was just like I had predicted, small, (except for that one special place, but we'll get to that later) a bit tanned, kami he was perfect, in every way (well duh! No shit Sherlock!)! I can't find any other words to describe him. Perfect, just... perfect.

It all began with shy kissing, which after a while turned passionate. He tasted so sweet, like a mix of chocolate and mint, and the way he kissed me back... I was really about to faint, he was so talented.

He then pushed me onto his bed and began unbuttoning my shirt. At the same time he was whispering things like:

"I've never met anyone else as perfect as you."

"I can't wait till I get inside you."

"I wanna see how you moan, sweat and writhe as I fuck you slowly."

Too bad that's when my teacher decided to wake me up. I'm just hoping I wasn't sleep talking or anything during the dream. I mean that yeah, everyone at my school knows that I'm a dedicated fan of Sakuma Ryuichi and everything, but hey, some things are better if I'm the only one who knows about them. Let's say that some of my fantasies can't be rated.

Okay, enough of my fantasies, if someone ever finds this notebook, for example my dad, hell, do I have lots of explaining to do then!

Hmm, I'm wondering would aniki let me stay at his place for few days..? I feel like going to Tokyo to stalk Sakuma-sama at the NG building... I've tried that couple of times, and every time Seguchi called the security to drag me out. He's pure evil, he must be a spawn of Satan or something like that, at least.

I mean every time he comes to see my aniki, I'm not gonna kick him out or anything! I think that the only reason why he married Mika, was to get closer to my aniki. Pathetic, ne?

Whoa, I don't wanna think about the consequences if Tohma finds this... Eiri told me that he pushed Aizawa-san in front of a moving car "for laying his hands on Eiri". And here I am, writing not-so-nice things about him, owww...

I better hide this damn thing well. Okay, I'm off to bed now, otherwise I'll never wake up tomorrow, old man's gonna wake me up at some ungodly hour anyways. Ja ne!

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I'm sorry it took me so long to update! Anyways, thank you to all of you who sent me reviews, I really loved reading them! I hope you guys keep on reading this fic in future, I love you! Ja ne! 

Mortheza


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary...

by Mortheza

Freaked Out

I got a part time job! Yes! Finally I can make some money of my own, which I can use to whatever I want to, which reminds me of the fact that I need to buy a train ticket to Tokyo as soon as possible... I don't care if Tohma's going to have me kicked out again, I just wanna see Sakuma-sama!

And why haven't I written in few weeks? Ehheh, well, I was kinda busy... See, there was this chick I accidentally picked up one night in a party my friend threw, and she was a bit... clingy. So it was very hard for me to get rid of her and it was impossible to write since she was being so nosey all the freakin' time! Really, what is it with the girls nowadays..?

...and no, Mika still hasn't called me back. And no, I'm not going to call her and harass her about it, since I know for sure that then she really isn't going to talk some sense into Tohma's thick head.

Oh, aniki decided to drop by few days ago. I guess he didn't inform the old man about it, since he looked like he was going to have a heart attack when Eiri walked through the gates. And he didn't smoke even one cigarette! I wanted to check his temper but all I got was one of his famous glares which promised a slow and painful death if I wouldn't leave him alone that instant. I'm way too young to die and I'm not going to die until I meet Sakuma-sama!

I can't help but wonder what really is wrong with my aniki... He really doesn't do those kinds of things unless he wants something... So he must want something from dad... but what? What could he possibly want from that old man? Something else besides him to drop dead. The more I think about it, the more it freaks me out!

Oh fuck, wait a second, my phone is ringing...

…

Okay, I'm back. And I have some really important news! Seems like my sister finally decided to let me know how the things turned out with Tohma... And she pulled it off! She... she... Oh... My... GOD! I'm practically worshipping her over here right now! I owe her so much, so much that I can't even find the right words to describe it! ...actually she said that also. I don't even want to imagine the things she's gonna make me do for her...

Okay, now that this thing is clear, I can finally sleep peacefully at nights. When I finally get to see him (a week from this day), I know for sure that he falls for my charm, I just know it... Nobody, and I really mean nobody, can resist a bishounen like me! Nobody!

...okay. I need to calm down. It's nothing special, it's nothing big, I'm just gonna meet Sakuma-sama finally, after years of waiting... Oh who am I kidding? Of course it's a big thing!

...I need some sleep. I seriously do. I'm off to bed. Now. Before my dad starts complaining about how much noise I tend to make while I'm happy...

I wish I could just yell at him something like, 'believe me old man, you haven't heard me when I seriously get at it with someone'...

...I don't like the thought of getting disowned. Not even one bit.

Okay, _now _I'm off to bed. Ja ne...

I'm so, so, soooo sorry for not updating in a long, loooong time! I don't have any reason for it, except I was feeling so damn lazy... And I'm sorry again if I made Tatsuha OOC... I consider the fact of going to sleep, I think I need sleep as well. Anyways, send me reviews and tell me how I did!

Mortheza


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